Saturday, January 31, 2004

Welcome To The Jungle

Much to the delight of our booze fueled readership around the world, the Rant is - once again - open for business, proving that I will write just about anything for anyone provided I’m sufficiently compensated in one form or another (you want the 10 commandments written in maple syrup across my back? We can probably work something out if you have a crumpled up 20 dollar bill lying around someplace).

Of course, we've undergone some cosmetic changes, as well as a name change, but I'm now returning to our original`Blogger` format (Blogger being internet slang for 'web log', not a racial slur for an African American woodsman).

I've somehow managed to recapture my techno-libertoid groove after over a year of excruciating writer’s block. There's nothing pretty about a writing slump, especially when my readership places such heavy demands on my limited intellect. They want in-depth and interesting analysis of the days salient issues, with lots of naughty pop-culture references and fart jokes thrown in the mix.

Writing can be a brutal business, especially when your brain is acting like the third hack-up for the ring toss team of the special Olympics. It's hard to explain - your brain just freezes. When I'm in a slump, I can't even be bothered to try. The stuff I crank out during my down time sounds like the ramblings of a Church of Scientology freak after a night of eating lead-based paint chips - it's not pretty.

Blogging requires frequent daily updates, and I'm afraid the block is going to hit me again in a few months like the fickle mistress that it is -but this time, I won't be able to hide out in cyberspace, locked in my apartment drinking beer and reading Maxim while calling old friends and screaming at them over real and imagined slights. I call it Alec Baldwin Syndrome, because during these down times I always look damn good, but my intellectual prowess is somewhere on par with a brain sucking pod person.

Anyway, hope you enjoy the new site.