Saturday, January 27, 2007

Tumour, or no Tumour?

Apperenty, it's common practice for emergency room doctors to inform
you that you have tumours in your chest, then quickly leave the room
before you can say, "did you just use the word 'tumours' in

I guess they think it's more fun to diagnose patients in "Deal
or no Deal" style.

"Mr Leger. You have two painful lumps in your chest, we know they're
tumours, but we're not sure if it's serious. We've got your blood work
back, and we've got some ex-rays too. Now...Joe Leger...tumour, or no tumour?"

Good lord man. At least the reckless gambling junkies on Deal or No Deal,
get to pick out of silver cases. I got to pick between grape juice or ice chips
in a glass.

The ex-rays were a real blast. I had to lean forward while holding onto
a metal bar above my head, half bent over with my ass sticking out of my
hospital gown, while some guy was holding my hips from behind trying
to position me properly. It was like a bad scene from a prison movie.
I was praying he wasn't going to say; "I'm gonna make you squeal like a
pig boy."

Well, Arnold Schwarzenegger may have said "It's not a toooomar", but
in my case, it is. (Tumours , actually. So far, nothing
to worry about. (Oh, except for the fact that they're going to grow and
get really painful, and I won't know much else more for a while.)

That's my deal. I'm just hoping that whatever's my case is good news.



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