Back in Business - Blogging by Numbers Time

Thanks to all for being so patient over the last few weeks. As most of you know, the lovely miss Claire and I were married on the 18th, and I have entered into that inextricable bond that John Adams referred to as the "Tyranny of the Petticoat". My editor has become my wife, which is a little like Godzilla finding out that Mothra is his new landlord - the only difference being that we are not radio-active mutants. Well, at least I'm not.

I am flattered but a little puzzled by the numerous requests to send as many wedding photos as possible to various friends and fans alike. Usually the phrase "Let me show you some photo albums" makes me want to put a bullet through my head, or jump out the nearest open window. Anyway, enough with all these Canadian pleasantries - It's blogging by numbers time!!!!

1 - Few outside of academia noted the passing of Professor J. B. Kelly this month. In his long and impressive career, he taught imperial history at various universities in the United States and London, but his most lasting and treasured achievements are the large and impressive tomes he penned delving into the treaties between Britain and the Islamic world in the 18th century and the creeping influence of radical Arab honor cultures throughout the middle east. As NRO'S David Pryce Jones noted, Professor Kelly's greatest achievement was his relentless quest to shake Western liberals out of their apathy over the threat the radicalization of Islam posed to the free world;

"Nobody and nothing was going to prevent him speaking his mind. He was all too familiar with the cruelty of modern Arab rulers, the disaster of Arab nationalism, the bigotry of Islamism, and the tremendous price that everyone in the Middle East has to pay for the frightful inhumanity that follows. But those John really went for and destroyed were the apologists in the West who pretend that everything is fine, that the Arabs are really doing well and we have only to give them everything they ask for."

J. B. Kelly, dead at 84. RIP.

2 - Our friends and relatives were exceedingly generous to us over the course of the wedding. As with many newly married couples, we find ourselves blessed with a little extra cash. I suggested that we invest the money in obscure 1980's arcade games, which I would devote the next five years to mastering. The suggestion was quickly vetoed. At least I tried.

3 - The irony of the Obama administration's astounding decision to dismantle its missile defense system in Europe on the 20th anniversary of Poland's break from communism was not lost on anyone paying attention - that would be anyone who doesn't work for CNN, MSNBC, or The New York Times. The President's naive rationale was that Iran's nuclear capabilities were grossly over-estimated, and the act would also serve as a symbolic gesture of good faith towards the Russians - a weak diplomatic move, as the Russians have offered nothing in return but international bullying and further crackdowns on individual freedoms. The topper on the cake, however, came last week, when it was revealed at the G-20 summit that Iran has tested two short range missiles, and are in possession of a long range missile that has the potential to reach Athens and destroy Israel - a fact that was confirmed when the missile was tested on the 28th.

President Obama is now adopting - with much chest puffing - a hard line on Iran, despite the allegations that he may have known about the missile construction site as early as March. This begs the question, is the President a foolish naif, or a blatant liar playing a dangerous game with the security of Israel? Whichever statement proves to be more accurate is, at this point, seemingly irrelevant. The drama that has unfolded over the past ten days demonstrates that Israel, surrounded by hostile neighbors, is alone in it's defense, and must take measures to protect itself from the destruction that the Mullahs in Iran are promising. May God, and all men of conscience, be on their side.

4 - My wife's adorable 11 year old twin cousins have suggested that the leading cause of mysterious unsolved deaths are either crazed hobos or scurvy - I'm loving 'em more every day.

5 - Remember how Patrick Fitzgerald spent millions of dollars investigating the supposed outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame? It was a farcical, politically motivated witch hunt that ruined the reputations of many good men, and almost sent an innocent man to jail, had it not been for a Presidential commutation. The left was outraged - The Bush/Cheney regime was compromising the security of assets abroad and playing cover-up, screamed the media. Well, the ACLU is now actively asking the public to photograph people they think are covert CIA agents, so the pictures may be given over to military defence lawyers, who in turn will give them over to their terrorist clients at Guantanamo bay. Will Attorney General Holder and the main stream media show the same outrage? Are rigorous prosecutions in the works? Don't hold your breath.

6 - TSH is back. Time to do the Kansas City Shuffle.

Cordially

Joe

The Hype Will Be Down For A Few Weeks!!

We will be back up and running soon! As you can see, there have been a few life changes that have kept me busy recently!

Cordially

Joe

FDR's Grassy Knoll

I used to believe that infamy was its own reward, that the grandiose madmen of our society enjoy a certain level of macabre immortality by committing acts so brazen that their names are forever burned into our subconscious. The Jack Ruby's and John Hinckley Jr's of our world will never be forgotten, their deeds will remain ingrained in the national psyche for generations to come.

There are those rare souls, however, who defy this rule. They are the Milli Vanilli's of infamy, those who shone for a brief moment only to be discarded and forgotten on the ash-heap of history. Can you still recall the name of the serial killer who murdered Versace? At the time everyone knew it was Andrew Cunanan, though not many people can recall the name now without taxing their memory. Such is also the case of FDR's would-be assassin, Guiseppe Zangara. Zangara, like Cunanan, is one of those odd historical figures who just didn't have staying power.

On Feb. 15th, 1933, at Miami's Bayfront Park, an unemployed Italian immigrant, armed with a .32 revolver, stood atop a wooden chair and fired 5 rounds at FDR, who was seated at the back of his convertible, talking with supporters and guests. Zangara - apparently a bad shot - managed to hit everyone and everything, but FDR. Three of the shots lodged into the car, the other two bullets hit flesh, seriously injuring the wife of a prominent Miami doctor, and fatally wounding Chicago Mayor Anton Cermak.

Zangara was immediately tackled by secret service agents and brought in for questioning. The national media quickly descended on Miami to cover the story. Was it a communist plot? Was there a conspiracy bubbling beneath the surface? One paper submitted that mayor Cermak was the actual target of the shooting. Cermak was a fervant anti- prohibitionist who had made enemies with the Chicago mob. Another paper opined that it was the work of a renegade band of socialists. The actual motive would prove to be far less spectacular...an ulcer.

Hollywood itself could not have created a more colorful or bizarre character as the 5'2" Zangara. During the weeks that followed the shooting he would baffle the FBI and the local Sheriff’s Dept. with his blunt, and often times bizarre answers. Reading the transcripts and press accounts of Zangara's statements to the FBI is surreal and often times comic.

In one interview, Zangara is asked to explain his motivations for wanting to assassinate President-Elect Roosevelt. It would the first in number of times he would make reference to his stomach pains.

"I shoot kings and presidents, capitalists got all-a the money and I got bellyache all-a the time."

Trying to probe the mind of the mind of Zangara for further information on his background, his affiliations, and politics would also prove to be futile. Zangara hated anarchists, socialists, capitalists, and probably even puppies. He belonged to no special group, and seemed to have no friends. During his trial, he would defiantly shout to the judge;

"I kill capitalists because they kill me, stomach like drunk man. No point living. Give me electric chair."

Zangara would eventually get his wish. On May 6th Mayor Cermak died from his injuries and the presiding judge sentenced Zangara to death. 14 days later, he was strapped into the electric chair - a quick execution, even for the time. Bouncing into the chair like a hyperactive child, Zangara continued to display his trademark brand of defiance;

"Viva Italia! Goodbye to all poor peoples everywhere! Pusha da button!!"

All media interest and coverage of Zangara ended with his death. The press packed up and went home, Roosevelt was inaugurated, the doctor's wife recovered, and the scrawny, unemployed brick layer who had almost killed an American President over a tummy ache was quickly forgotten. The difficulty I encountered researching this article serves as a testament to Zangara's obscurity. Articles on the internet about the shooting were scant and often inaccurate, confusing dates and names. Many websites devoted to FDR made little, if any mention of the incident. Perhaps the fact we entered into a war shortly after, is the reason Zangara was so quickly forgotten. Perhaps it was simply because he missed his mark. Maybe his lack of a grander political motive doomed him to irrelevancy. In the end, I think Zangara's life can best be summed up in his own words;

"I don't like-a no peoples"

Cordially

Joe

Editor's Note - I wrote this article nearly a decade ago and information about Zangara is much easier to come by these days with the dawning of such things as Wikipedia. Several new books have since been written about the incident, yet this failed presidential assassination attempt continues to remain an odd historical blind spot.

Reference material for this article was drawn from "The Five Weeks of Giuseppe Zangara" by Blaise Picchi and "A Date Which Should Live in Infamy" by Florence King.

The Anderson Cooper Pooper Scooper

There's a crazy homeless guy who panhandles near my home. I know it's rather impolitic to refer to him as such, but anyone who mutters incessantly about knives and Donna Summer has pretty much paid his dues to the nutter-butter country club. He's harmless enough, and Claire and I give him food, and occasionally money if we are in a position to do so (liberals talk about helping people, conservatives actually help them). That's not the point, though. This guy, we'll call him Charlie, has an uncanny ability to predict the weather. It's probably an intuition that homeless people develop from being at the mercy of the elements on a daily basis. It could be a beautiful balmy day, but if Charlie says "rain is a-comin'" you can be sure that rain is about to "a-come". He's like the Weather Network, if the Weather Network lived under a bridge and smelled like old Doritos and rotting fish. Thing is, I trust this rambling, possibly schizophrenic homeless fellow to convey more accurate information to me than CNN and MSNBC combined.

Our old friend Anderson Cooper is at again. No rain forest trekking in pre-wrinkled designer cargo shorts warning of the upcoming enviro-Apocalypse for the Coop these days. No indeed! He seems pretty busy right at home lately, playing the role of fear-monger in chief to the President.

"Right Wing Militias On The Rise", screamed the headline below Cooper as he interviewed Mark Potok, director of the Southern Poverty Law Center, which recently published a paper supposedly confirming this phenomenon. CNN calls the group a "non-partisan organization that monitors hate groups" - a claim I'm sure even crazy Charlie knows is blatant intellectual dishonesty of the worst kind. The SPLC is a left-wing attack group that is so extreme even die hard liberals like journalist Alexander Cockburn characterized them as “...frightening elderly liberals (into believing) that the heirs of Adolf Hitler are about to march down Main Street.”

This is tantamount to running a story claiming that smoking is healthy and delicious based on a report published by Phillip Morris. But what has CNN and the folks over at MSNBC in such a state? Everyone knows they ceased parading the pretense of objectivity long ago, but even this is laying it on a little thick. You see, things aren't going very well for President Obama as of late, and his lackeys in the press will have none of it.

No one much cares for the President's new health care proposal. Republicans don't like it, Democrats don't like it, the liberals down at the AARP don't like it - I don't even think homeless Charlie cares much for it. This has the media in full attack mode, and the cannon balls are flying. So what does the left do when things aren't going according to plan? You call in the media and create a crisis, and believe me, the "C" in CNN stands for crisis.

All over America, discouraged citizens are showing up at town hall meetings to express their displeasure at their elected representatives - both Democrat and Republican. They want to keep their family doctor; They want to keep the insurance provided by their employer; And most of all, they don't want to throw away more of their hard earned money to fund another expensive pipe dream that promises to be an even more dismal failure than the President's last massive spending project. They are not feeling stimulated.

In the weird and distorted looking glass world of the media, these people are dangerous zealots ready to torch the White House. Yep, those senior citizens who criticized Rep. Steny Hoyer at a town hall meeting are heading straight to the nearest compound to stock up on canned goods, bibles, and semi-automatic rifles. They're going tear up their "Scoot-About" licenses and hunker down for the next armed rebellion. I joke, but this dangerous little game the media is playing with public opinion is deadly serious.

Americans are exercising their most basic and cherished first amendment right in a peaceful and legal manner, but are being portrayed as dangerous wing nuts by the media because they're not coming down on the right side of this debate.

Remember the eight years President Bush was in office? People took to the streets protesting in large numbers with signs depicting him in Nazi paraphenalia; They camped out for over a year in front of his Crawford Ranch; They threw things at him -they even made a movie shot in "cinema verite" style that was aired in American theatres in which he was assassinated. No one seemed to be concerned then. I don't remember anyone in the MSM warning that this was going a step too far. Now ordinary Americans of all political stripes are simply demanding that their elected officials explain themselves and CNN would have you believe that they are ushering in a Mad Max society where rules will be thrown out the window, and people will be eating soup out of their neighbors' skulls.

As a Canadian looking in from the outside and a scholar of American politics, I find this alarming. Woodrow Wilson used the media skillfully and even had his own goon squads to intimidate the public when they weren't buying Wilson's "change" inspired by his admiration of European fascists.

The next time you see Anderson Cooper trying to pass off a left-wing radical nut job from a shady activist group like the Southern Poverty Law Center as an unbiased authority on "extremists groups", shut off the T.V. and go for a walk. Some spare change and the rantings of a homeless guy will at least get you a fairly accurate weather forcast.

Cordially

Joe

Capitalists of Convenience

Nicolas Sarkozy wants the French to work on Sunday. I probably lost you between "French" and "work", but if you can compose yourself for a moment and stay with me, the ambitious young playboy President wants the smell of over-priced wine and fromage wafting through the air and mimes in striped shirts and berets to punch in for a normal work day on Sunday at their employer's discretion. Perhaps if the French could be made to work during the normal work week this little dust-up wouldn't have started in the first place.

Debate will begin today in the National Assembly to overturn a 1906 law declaring Sunday a day of rest, with the exclusion of some fresh food providers that can still remain open until noon. A small side note to this story, which I find wonderfully delicious, is that special arrangements had to be made for the Obama's during a recent visit so they could do a little high-end shopping at an exclusive luxury clothing store. Apparently, the horrors of unabated capitalism don't apply to it's most ardent detractors.

All jokes about 3 hour lunch breaks and neglectful personal hygiene aside, Sarkozy deserves some credit for trying to inject some desperately needed deregulation into France's nightmarish economic labyrinth, but the fallout West of the pond has produced some curious insights into the left's knee jerk politics.

On various political message boards and comment sections of internet editorial pieces, America's liberal foot soldiers were strangely silent, until some thoughtful folks interjected the most dreaded word in America's political lexicon into the argument - God. Once that happened, any sympathies they may have had for the "workers of the world" in their battle against "the soulless capitalist corporations" were quickly thrown out the window. The left often defines themselves by using what they are "not" as a guideline. When Al Gore, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and John Kerry believed deposing Saddam Hussein by military means was a National Security priority, I don't remember the moveon.org crowd mobilizing their code-pink protest brigades into the streets. When a Republican President decided to act instead of simply paying lip service to the idea, the same cast of characters went nuts.

When I first shared my observations about Sunday shopping in another forum I frequent, a progressive friend of mine went absolutely apoplectic. To be fair, his argument was simply that he was annoyed at being "inconvenienced" when in France on a Sunday, which was all the more disconcerting to me.

There is a non-religious argument for keeping shops closed on Sunday. Sunday shopping is pretty much the norm, at least in Eastern Canada. When Sunday shopping legislation was first introduced in Nova Scotia, pompous government employees who still enjoyed a regular 9 to 5 work week complained "When are we supposed to shop?"

Many retail workers were infuriated by this. Government employees could shop after 5 every day of the week and all day Saturday. The folks on the lower rung of the economic ladder just wanted some time to spend with their families - one day out of the entire week. This is a similar argument to what trade unions and those on the left in France are making.

But in North America, it's strange how liberals become capitalists of convenience when God comes into the equation. Because there is a religious element for some people in this debate, the left has suddenly become Adam Smith incarnate.

Aren't these the people who are supposed to stick up for the little guys? The poor single mother who wants to know she can have at least one day of the week to spend with her kids? I guess not at the expense of sharing political elbow room with conservatives, or the horror of having to eat stale bread because they couldn't be bothered to get to the bakery before noon.

This seems like a rather small blip on the radar, but it's opened my eyes to an entire array of issues where the left adopts a more right-leaning stance when it directly affects their lives. Over the weekend, I witnessed one of the most astounding examples of this, which we'll explore more broadly in the coming weeks. This is definitely a phenomenon, and I think we may be on to something.

In the meantime, I guess my European friends will have to wait until Monday to buy that 211EUR purse they had their eye on, and suffer the indignity of having to munch on a baguette they bought at 11 am.

Cordially

Joe

How Gauche!

Good afternoon loyal Hypesters! I get lots of interesting emails from readers every day. Some are from gracious fans sending kind words of encouragement - some are from less enthusiastic readers telling me to stick things in places where things shouldn't be stuck. Lots of people new to the blogosphere write in to ask for advice on the craft, and how to get started. I also get lots of emails from people purporting to be from The Bank of (insert third world country here), asking me to send a few grand so they can collect their inheritance and in turn richly reward me for my trouble.

While I was pecking away at two new blog pieces for the week, our good friend Bob from Texas sent along an interesting article from Yahoo's Rita Mauceri and Elycia Rubin on etiquette. Seeing that we at the Hype live by James Bowman's axium that manners are the last remaining vestige of the Western Honor Culture, I thought you might enjoy Madams Maurceri and Rubin's article from their Foxy Festivities blog. Enjoy, and thanks Bob!

Hang tight readers. New stuff is on the way!

Terrible Etiquette Mistakes From Around the World

By Rita Mauceri and Elycia Rubin

Coffee Break We may gulp lattes all day long, regardless of what time it is here, but in many European countries cappuccinos and other coffee drinks made with milk are enjoyed during the morning hours only. Espresso is what's consumed in the afternoons and evenings. So, don't be surprised when you get a funny look from the waiter after ordering your double latte with extra cream after that pesto pasta lunch.

No Ketchup Please Many French chefs are appalled if guests add condiments like ketchup and mustard to their culinary masterpieces before taking the first bite. They think it masks the true taste of the food -- so get used to your "pommes frites" without that dousing of ketchup.

Oops, All Gone Here in the States, it seems we've been taught to always clear our plates. In China on the other hand, if you gobble up every last morsel it could be insulting to the host as it means that he/she hasn't provided enough food. Keep things on the up and up and leave a few bites left. We're guessing it's probably best not to ask for a doggie bag, either!

Heads Up In Thailand, no matter how adorable someone's child is, resist the urge to give them a friendly pat on the noggin. It's taboo to touch the head, which is a revered body part.

No Sharing No matter how mouthwatering your palak paneer is, offering someone a taste from your plate is a big no-no in India, since it's considered unclean. Enjoy your dinner and rave about it all you want, but keep it to yourself.

A Few Pointers In India, if you want to call someone over, never use your finger to point or wag -- it's seen as condescending and insulting. Instead, hold your hand out, palm down, and scoop with your fingers. You'll get much better results!

Better Than Butter While dining out in Spain, get used to the idea of bread without butter. Ask for it at a restaurant and you'll most likely be told they don't have any. The preferred practice is to dip bread in olive oil -- and if you ask us, it's much yummier anyway!

A - O - K Never give anyone in Brazil the "OK" hand signal (using your thumb and pointer finger to make an O)... it's an obscene gesture that's likely to get you labeled both ignorant and extremely offensive!

Meat 'n' Milk In Israel, unless you know otherwise, assume that a household keeps kosher. That means mixing meat and dairy is not allowed. So no milk in your coffee after a belly-busting beef dinner (and no cheese on that burger, either!).

Sticky Splinters We're all familiar with the wooden chopsticks you get at Asian restaurants. They come stuck together, and you snap them apart which usually leaves a few stray splinters on the end. If this happens in Japan, holding the chopsticks between your palms and loudly clattering them together is a big insult to the waiter or sushi chef because it indicates that his utensils are cheap. Instead, rub one chopstick against the other gently.

Throw In The Towel In a Japanese restaurant, if you're given a hot rolled towel, use it only to wipe your hands. It's generally considered rude to wipe your face with (although at more informal restaurants, people may occasionally be seen doing it).

Service With A Smile Here in the US, many of us are used to serving ourselves and digging in family style at meals. But in China it's common for the host to place food on the guest's plates, so resist the urge to scoop up another helping of rice -- practice sitting back and relaxing, and enjoy letting the host put you on a pedestal.

Sole Purpose Think twice before sitting too casually in Egypt, or even stretching out your gams. Showing the soles of your feet or shoes is considered to be terribly rude -- yes, even if you're sporting Jimmy Choos!

Lip Service No matter how parched your lips may be, when traveling in Zimbabwe, never lick your lips while looking at someone of the opposite sex. While it may seem innocent enough to you, they consider it an obscene gesture.

Baby Steps Have a friend in Russia who's expecting a babe? Go ahead and browse all you want, but don't give them anything until after the little one arrives. It's considered bad luck to do so sooner.

Cordially

Joe (with thanks to the gals from Foxy Festivities)

Why So Serious? - Blogging By Numbers

Oops. I know I'm rather late. Not late as in honey we need to talk and go to the pharmacy - don't have the anatomy for that - but late in delivering a fresh blog. I strive to post a new blog twice a week, but I also strive to exercise, eat healthier, and lose 25 pounds before the wedding - which is approaching faster than Al Gore's enviro-apocalypse (sorry honey, poor choice of analogies).

Anyway, excuses are for late husbands and Robert Gibbs' press conferences, so let's get right to the heart of things - It's blogging by numbers time!

1 - It seems my associate editor, the lovely Miss Claire, has been gripped by a passion for cyber farming. It appears to be a wide-spread phenomenon amongst Facebook users, in the form of a game called "Farm Town", and something I believe is called "Farmville". Fans of these cyber crop-keeping games say it's addictive, like some kind of rural "World of Warcraft" with corn and sheep. I have a theory that this game has become so popular because deep down, people have a weird longing for a return to the time of Jeffersonian-style agrarianism. I have always been wary of Jefferson worship. Anyone that enamoured with the French should automatically be treated as suspect.

2 - Many readers, mostly those who remember when TSH was The Rant, a website, long before there were such things as blogs, Myspace, Twittering, and Facebook, have asked me to be a little more aggressive, to "take off the white gloves", as the fascists were fond of saying. Aside from the fact that fascism is the expertise of the left, and white gloves are the stuff of cartoon mice and decomposing pop stars, 1997 was a very different time than 2009. President Clinton's tenure in office was a daily train wreck, the first lady was already playing the role of Junior Senator from New York, and both of their volatile tempers made them easy targets to lampoon. Not very many alternatives to CNN and CBC existed back then, so I felt an obligation to cover stories that were being distorted or blatantly ignored by the media. The site became an instant hit, and was ranked among the top 5 conservative sites on the Internet by the end of 1999 - the fact that I was a Canadian made it all the more exotic, and we picked up an enormous American following.

In the late 90's, when people still thought Hootie and the Blowfish were cool, and god awful sitcoms like Home Improvement were on their way out, I inherited the nickname "Piranha Joe". Anyone who wrote into the site with a left-leaning opinion would be mocked, spit on, set on fire, and have their ashes pissed on. I don't want to be that guy anymore. We are still unapologetically conservative, hard hitting, and relentless. We stick to attacking policy and corruption in the Obama administration, and try and steer clear of personal insults. Don't try to push me too hard though - Piranha Joe is not gone, he's just on a leash, which still has it's fair share of slack.

3 - It seems I've upset a lot of apple carts as of late. I was puzzled as to why so many people were suddenly writing indignant emails that contained little substance and lots of nasty insults. Stranger still were the passive aggressive messages, comments, and innuendo sent to me via Facebook. My two-part gay marriage piece was a fairly benign and respectful exploration into the constitutional mess that such things can create, and I avoided making any jokes about black leather chaps and handle bar moustaches. Everyone seemed fine with it. Then came the Body of Lies piece, and it was like dropping a match into a dry powder keg. I have attacked the President before, and much more ferociously than in the previous post, so "why so serious"?

A few readers from both sides of the political spectrum ventured the following guess: I didn't call President Obama names like bam-bam or "the ObaMessiah"; I steered clear of the whole birth certificate nonsense; And I stuck to policy and facts, using the administration's own words against them and invoking obscure pieces of legislation. The left are masters at taking unwarranted cheap shots at us when we hold protests like the now famous Tea Parties, but when a Canadian conservative starts delving into things like the Waxman/Markey "Cap and Trade" bill, or the Five Days of Sunlight pledge, they don't have the stomach to come out of the shallow end of the pool, because they would have to do too much googling to get even a peripheral understanding of such things. Keep sending me petty insults - I'm loving it.

4 - There was much speculation as to why it took over a decade for Bernhard Schlink's inflammatory novel "The Reader" to be adapted into a screenplay. I have my own suspicions, and long time readers of this site can probably venture a fairly accurate guess. The Reader purports to be an insightful and intelligent look into the generational gap between Germans who participated - both actively and passively - in the atrocities of Nazi Germany, and the blameless generations that followed. I have no problems with subject matter that explores this moral and emotional combustion that has haunted Germany for over half a century. In the case of David Hare and Stephen Daldry's screen adaptation, it is mere window dressing for this morally bankrupt and disgusting movie. Here is what Messieurs Hare and Daldry expect us to swallow:

Hanna (Kate Winslet), a 32 year old trolley ticket attendant, seduces a 15 year old boy named Michael (David Kross), having him read to her each night during the course of their lengthy "affair" (we call it molestation outside of Hollywood). The first 45 minutes of the film is nothing short of soft porn with lots of full frontal nudity. Hanna leaves Michael's life after a promotion of sorts, only to re-appear later as a lady on trial, as Micheal - now a German law student - watches on as part of a class project. Hanna is actually Hanna Schmitz, an unrepentant SS guard who not only selected the weekly list of who was to die in the gas chambers of Auschwitz, but also allowed 30 Jewish women to burn alive in a church during an evacuation of the death camp in the midst of an air raid. A regular peach of a gal, this Hanna! But wait, here's the kicker - The movie expects us to sympathize with poor little Hanna because she's illiterate!! You see, that's why he read to her all those years ago! Aren't those liberal artsy types clever! The movie even has the gall to make her inquisitors seem insensitive for being so hard on Hanna. Hey, she may have been responsible for the deaths of hundreds of innocent Jews, but give her a break, the poor thing can't even read! A movie that asks us to stretch our sympathies to such a level might at least try to redeem itself at the end, but sadly it does not. When Hanna is asked by a grown Michael (Ray Fiennes) whether she feels any remorse for the atrocities she committed, she responds "...it doesn't matter what I feel, the dead are still dead." Indeed. Isn't that just the tops. This movie is offensive trash masquerading as deep intellectual fodder. Don't even bother renting this garbage.

5 - On a brighter note, Michael Mann's latest epic, Public Enemies, is a beautifully shot and wonderfully acted period piece that is pleasing to the eye, though lacking any sort of moral backdrop. Johnny Depp is pitch perfect as the roguish and charming John Dillinger, a man whose free wheeling days of bank robbing, immaculate suits, fast cars, and beautiful woman are quickly coming to an end. As Hoover's nascent "Federal Bureau" begins to erase the protections of state boundaries, Depp masterfully portrays all the nuances of a man trying to keep his bravado as the mob, his associates, and his safe houses begin to erode around him. Christian Bale is less impressive as South Carolina lawman Melvin Purvis, seemingly sleep-walking through the role and losing his accent a third of the way through the film. It's a fun evening at the movies, and worth seeing for the breathtaking cinematography and remarkable wardrobe and costume design alone.

6 - Have a good week, and enjoy a little "Be Good Tanyas" as you struggle through hump day.

Cordially

Joe

Body of Lies - President Obama is Just Getting Started

Remember the DTV Delay Act? No? It's not man-code for that stunt your husband pulls to avoid taking out the garbage or fixing the flickering light bulb that gives your basement that "insane asylum chic" look. The DTV Delay Act allowed for an extension to those who had not yet switched over to the soon to be mandatory digital converter box. This may surprise you, but this specific piece of legislation falls under the category of an emergency in Obamaland.

Why? Because of the "Five Days of Sunlight" act. President Obama promised to post all legislation online for public review and scrutiny a full five days before signing any bill into law. It was a big deal at the time. It resonated with voters. Here was a guy that was going to bring transparency and "CHANGE" to the White House. He was going to be accountable to the voters, and restore integrity in Washington. He not only fooled a gullible public, he also conned many conservatives - like Christopher Buckley and others - who thought this serpent-tongued charmer was the right man for the job.

Back on the campaign trail, the Obama/Biden website made the following boast;

“Too often bills are rushed through Congress and to the president before the public has the opportunity to review them. As president, Obama will not sign any non-emergency bill without giving the American public an opportunity to review and comment on the White House website for five days.”

President Obama had barely been sworn into office when he signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act followed by the re-authorization (with changes) to SCHIP legislation only a few days later. Obama is not the first President to break a campaign promise, but he most certainly holds the record for wasting no time in casting aside all those silly commitments he made to voters on the campaign trail. As of late June, The Cato institute documented almost 45 separate pieces of legislation and amendments that never saw the metaphorical light of day that candidate Obama considered a matter of the utmost principal and ethics. On February 5th, the administration quickly ran some political interference, issuing the following statement; "We will be implementing this policy in full soon...currently we are working through implementation procedures". For those of you unfamiliar with Washington beltway spin, that's Obama-speak for "don't hold your breath".

Wise advice, considering that if you have been withholding any oxygen waiting for this ground breaking new policy initiative, we are rapidly approaching the 7 month mark, and the President has all but abandoned this foolish promise that he must have surely known was impractical and unworkable - but we'll get back to that later.

How about his campaign pledge that there would be no new taxes imposed on the middle class to fulfill his myriad of FDR style social engineering projects? Nope. It seems that has fallen by the wayside as well. After the Congressional Budget Office warned House Democrats and Republicans that the President's plan to pay for his massive socialized health care scam by heavily taxing those who made above $250,000 would not even begin to cover the enormous expenditures required to fund such a program, President Obama hinted that the wallets of the middle class were exactly where the government's hands would be reaching. During his July 22nd infomercial on his new health care proposal, the President said;

"The one commitment that I've been clear about is, I don't want that final one-third of the cost of health care to be completely shouldered on the backs of middle-class families who are already struggling in a difficult economy."

....not "completely shouldered"? President Obama promised that the middle class would not be further taxed to trim the federal budget, pay for his health care initiative, or foot the bill for anything else cooked up by he and Nancy Pelosi. Perhaps he misspoke. Remember candidate Obama trekking across the country in rolled up shirt sleeves, chowing down waffles and cheese burgers at local diners in a bid to convince folks that he wasn't some ivy-league leftist going after the hard earned money of middle class America? I remember. I remember his countless promises and pledges to steer clear of any middle class tax increases.

This whip-lash inducing turn around should come as no surprise to anyone paying attention. As far back as late June 28th, cracks in the administration's no tax pledge started to show when senior advisor David Axelrod was pinned into a corner by ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, making the bizarre admission that; "One of the problems we've had in this town is that people draw lines in the sand and they stop talking to each other. And you don't get anything done. That's not the way the president approaches this.” - Translation? -"It's kind of stupid to expect us to keep promises. We just promised stuff to get elected. President Obama can't get anything done without taxing the holy hell out of everyone. Don't you know that?"

The administration even boasted about how fear mongering was a delightful way to pass legislation without proper reflection or debate. Back in November, White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel confided to The New York Times that “Rule #1 (is) never allow a crisis to go to waste." Hillary Clinton and the President himself have often times repeated this little "joke", prompting NRO's Jonah Goldberg to sagely note that;

"...the White House tactic isn’t funny at all. It’s scary. Its amorality is outweighed only by the grotesque and astoundingly naked cynicism of it all."

We all know the media is asleep at the wheel when it comes to the Obama administration...wait, scratch that - that's way too charitable. I think asleep in the rumpled sheets of the White House bed while waiting for room service is far more accurate. Why haven't any of the political intelligentsia at CNN or MSNBC bothered to point out the glaring disingenuousness of the President's call for a "second stimulus"? Second stimulus? You would think that amongst the combined intellectual fire power of the John King's, Chris Matthews' , David Gergen's and Candi Crowley's of the world, someone would have pointed out that February's 787 billion dollar package was the second stimulus. The first stimulus package of $168 billion passed in the last year of the Bush administration. A new stimulus package would be the third. The first two failed at creating or sustaining new jobs, but that's not the issue. To call for a second stimulus is a flat out distortion of the truth. We already had a second stimulus. President Obama claimed that if it didn't pass, unemployment would soar to 9%. As we go to print, the unemployment numbers have already surpassed the double digits and are fast approaching 14%. Maybe the Count from Sesame street was drunk the day young Barack was watching.

"ONE...AHAHAHAHA....TWO...AHAHAHAHAHA....uh...ummm...TWO...AHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

We could fill several blogs with the trail of broken campaign promises and abandoned pledges that went by the wayside under the Obama administration. I'm sure hundreds of other bloggers have done so already. But let's get back to why "The Five Days of Sunlight" act should bother you more than any other. On June 26th, the House passed the Waxman/Markey "cap and trade" bill. An amendment to the original bill was introduced at 3am on the day of passage and was over 300 pages long. If 3am legislative trickery doesn't disturb you enough, this should - Not a single written copy of the amendment existed when the legislation was passed, meaning that not a single member of the House of Representatives could have read the amendment even if they cared to. 219 of your elected officials voted for it anyway. As Mark Steyn wondered, "Is that even legal"?

I guess that's the transparency President Obama promised to bring to Washington - long winded, bureaucracy-laden legislation introduced in the dead of night with not a single copy to be found. How can you post a bill for even 5 minutes on the White House website when a written copy of the bill doesn't exist in the first place?

President Obama may have promised a government filled with sunshine, but so far, all he's delivering is 4 years of cloudy skies.

Cordially

Joe

Bus Blogging - Drag me to Hell

The poster advertisement at the bus terminal shows a picture of a guy who looks as though he accidentally walked in on his roommate's hot girlfriend taking a shower, and has sprawled out on a plush comfortable couch, hands laced behind his head, just reliving the moment. The caption reads "Get Ready For Comfort". Poster guy has a laptop, an I-Pod, a stack of books, and what appears to be a rather large man-purse ready at his side. Must be nice.

Presently, I'm not feeling so much like poster dude. I feel like I'm sitting on Robert Byrd's skeleton, and there's about 6 inches of space seperating my neck from the broken cup holder precariously holding my scorching cup of coffee, which I am fairly certain will soon be gracing my twig and berries with 2nd degree burns.

"Get Ready For Comfort". I think "Get Ready For The Chiropractor" would be a slightly more honest assessment of what to expect after buying a ticket to ride the iron maiden on wheels.

I find myself in the present situation because I forgot an appointment 3 hours out of town that I had scheduled for today. Necessity and expedience has made quicker and more convenient forms of transportation inaccessible at present. These types of things happen to me quite frequently. Though the lovely Miss Claire continues to buy me beautiful leather bound day planners from Barnes and Noble every year, I persist in keeping track of all important engagements on miscellaneous scraps of paper that I randomly stuff in my wallet. You would think that a guy on is his way up the conservative-libertoid blogosphere ladder would have his s%$t together. You would be wrong.

We just passed a car with a New York license plate adorned with "Obama/Biden '08" and "War is not the Answer" bumper stickers. I quickly wrote "Obama is a wiener" on a scrap of paper to flash at them as we drove by, but thought better of it in honor of my credo that good manners are the glue that hold society together. The lady two rows in front of me appears to hold manners and decorum in much lower esteem than I do, as she seems quite fine with the fact that her 12 year old is wearing a crisp white t-shirt with the word F#$CK emblazoned in large black letters on the front. What's odd is that he appears to otherwise be a well mannered and immaculately groomed young man. He even held the door open for me to the coffee shop during our last stop. Not a trace of angst to be found for a kid making such a bold statement with his t-shirt. Maybe he's playing, as James Bowman might say, "a little pomo joke on us all".

I'll spare you the details of what I will only refer to as "the incident" that just happened in the tin box that is posing as a bathroom at the back of the bus. Push the bubble on a Trouble game board and watch the dice jump violently about inside the confined area. That would sum up the PG part of what just happened to me in the charming little rolling wash closet.

I just had to change buses. I wasn't aware that this particular form of travel had stop overs. My hopes were briefly buoyed when I noticed this appeared to be a shiny new vehicle; Maybe it would be filled with those big comfy seats with all kinds of room for laptops and I-Pods and leg stretching. Nope. It is indeed brand new, but the only modification appears to be an illustration on the near eye level cup holder warning that if the person if front of you suddenly decides to rapidly recline his seat, the coffee in your cup holder may cause a painful crotch incident.

In perspective, there are far worse things in this world than having to take a brief but uncomfortable bus ride - like making the mistake of reading a Maureen Dowd column with the false hope that the mean little shrew will put down her bile-filled pen and start being witty again...or listening to Vice President Biden trying to explain complex government policy by using arbitrary percentages to determine how successful they might be...or maybe even choosing to read an up and coming conservative blogger only to suffer through a long, rambling diatribe about his transportation prejudices.

Seriously though, I can't feel my ass anymore.

Cordially

Joe

Gay Marriage Part Deux - The Empty Ring

I discovered a strange paradox that exists within a certain segment of our society after writing the first half of my gay marriage article. Many non-conformists (mainly but not exclusively on the left) frequently eschew the entire concept of marriage, proclaiming "We don't need a stupid piece of paper to prove that we love each other". Odd, seeing that these very same people - who scoff at tradition and so called "conformity" - are now doing much tub-thumping about how this very same "piece of paper" now carries such importance that it has become the centrifuge of what the left sees as the holy grail of it's social agenda - Gay marriage.

The over arching theme of the first segment of this piece was that any changes to the constitution, no matter how inconsequential they may seem at the time, always lead to unintended consequences. In the case of gay marriage, a state that does not permit same sex marriage must recognize a gay marriage performed in another state as legally valid, thus opening the flood gates of that particular state's courts with litigation for the recognition of all same sex marriage based on that precedent. Another conclusion which we arrived at is that the courts are now dealing with dozen of applications for recognition of other non-traditional forms of marriage (ie polygamists) due to (once again) the precedent set by recognizing the validity of a same sex marriage. I will allow for the caveat that perhaps it is somewhat unfair to entirely lay the blame on those who fought for gay marriage rights, but it difficult to deny that these other cases would have much less weight had courts not ruled in favour of recognizing gay marriage, which leads us to another conundrum.

In the last Presidential election, 30 states soundly rejected by the idea of same sex marriage, initiatives that were carried with heavy support from the black and Latino community. The uncomfortable truth is that the majority of states that succeeded in recognizing gay marriage did not do so through the proper legislative channels or the popular vote. These laws were imposed upon the states by activist courts engaging in the most arrogant form of judicial imperialism. Courts have no authority to create laws, they are there to interpret existing laws and the constitution, yet this disturbing trend continues.

Many proponents of gay marriage, mostly special interest groups acting on behalf of the gay and lesbian community, make the unpersuasive case that this is a "civil rights" issue, insinuating that they are being deprived of a constitutional right enjoyed by others. They are not. Every citizen of the United States has the right to marry - with some exceptions. This may seem like a trivial argument, but the reality is gays do have the right to marry, just not to someone of the same sex. They are asking for what Jefferson may have referred to as something "extra-constitutional", that is, something outside the boundaries of the constitution.

The reality is that gays and lesbians enjoy more legal and constitutional protections than other citizens. They are protected by "hate crime laws". Hate crime laws are based on emotion, and not sober contemplation. Laws are not designed to appease the whims of any group that feels unfairly maligned. They are there protect, in real and tangible ways, all citizens. Hate crime legislation does nothing to prevent violence against gay men or women. It is based on the foolish premise, as Jonah Goldberg once opined:

"...that murderous thugs would never have killed certain people if only our laws asserted that murdering certain fashionable minorities is really, really bad. You see, murder laws — which often result in people being executed — don’t send a strong enough message."

Whether you are murdered because you are gay, fat, short, black, malodorous, or over enthusiastic about east-Indian cricket matches, it speaks to motive and nothing more. Hate crimes do not act as a deterrent - but I'm getting off point.

This issue is not going away, and though it is a deeply polarizing one, it is not one that enjoys the support of popular opinion. It failed to pass in every state where it was on the ballot, and is not supported by the most liberal of liberals - the President himself. Nor does the idea enjoy the unanimous support of everyone in the gay community. I have received emails from many gay readers who do not feel this is a pressing issue to them, and claim it only further inflates the passions of opponents who otherwise have a libertarian view of people who choose to live non-traditional lifestyles.

Gays have reached an unprecedented degree of tolerance and acceptance in our society. Whether it be the workplace, television, or movies, gays are part of our society, and at least in my own case, dear friends.

Perhaps a certain segment of the gay lobby suffer from the same malaise that affects some woman in the feminist movement who continue to insist that abortion rights are the single most important issue facing woman today. Having gained equality in almost every facet of society, special interest groups continue to adopt a policy of combativeness - swinging their fists wildly in a ring when there are no longer any opponents left to fight.

Cordially

Joe