Thursday, November 03, 2011

Yes we Cain? Herman Cain's last stand - Blogging by Numbers!!!

My brother is getting married. He likes to play it safe. He's planned a 2013-"ish" wedding date, which gives him lots of time to devise an exit strategy in light of the fact that my crafty soon to be blister-in-law called his bluff and said yes. Bad play on his part. He was planning to propose over a sewer grate in New York amongst the lights and bustle of New York city, but pissed the demon off so badly one night that he proposed on the spot to abate her wrath. After that kind of counter strategy, I don't know what he'll have to pull out of the top hat to appease "The One" the next time the knucklehead does something to land him on the couch for a week. How do you top a diamond ring?

I kid, of course. Angie is a darling and I could not be happier for the both of them - plus she makes great lasagna. My brother asked me to be his best man, and I was honoured.

Let the blogging by numbers begin!!

1 - When National Review's Jim Geraghty is dragging your body through the town square in a triumphant auto da fé in Morning Jolt, you are in very deep trouble.  This weekend will be make or break for GOP  presidential hopeful Herman Cain. The last 24 hours have been a virtual "creepy uncle explosion" for his campaign. Cain continues to climb in the polls despite his clumsy reaction to allegations of aggressively propositioning a female attendee at an NRA conference to come up to his room for a little more than a slice of pizza (the restaurant NRA, not the rifle NRA). He even grabbed front runner status, knocking Perry into the single digit realm in a national Quinnipiac poll.

As the story began to gain momentum,  more came forward with similar stories of the married Cain's aggressive womanizing. Most still viewed the accusations with a suspicious eye, as the AP and other news outlets had nothing more to offer than "anonymous sources", but then NRO's Geraghty stated he believed the claims based on stories from a staffer of conservative talk show host Steve Deace.

The Steve Deace allegations have been the most damning and credible, despite Mark Block's allegations that this is nothing more than political carpet bombing from the Perry camp. The Perry camp is blaming Romney for all of this, of course, but the tale grows stranger. The Washington Times is claiming Rahm Emanuel's office leaked the story to the Perry camp via NRA reps from their Chicago office.

Cain has exploded at the press, and as frustrated as he may feel, it was not a flattering moment for his image. If he survives the Sunday talk show circuit this weekend, he may get past this. The "who leaked what" circus of the bizarre may play in his favour, as it forces other candidates to make magnanimous statements about Cain's impeccable character. The Cain camp is calling on his accusers to step up and show their faces.  If these women are telling the truth, and they call his bluff at a press conference, the "Godfather of Pizza" may end up "sleeping with the political fishes."

2 - Let me get on record as saying I like Herman Cain. I don't know if I'll be so fond of him if the stories of his alleged womanizing goes beyond some clumsy drunken flirting at a conference years ago, but for now, he's fine by me.  He has injected life into the debates, and his front runner status has made the leftist establishment very nervous. Cain has made some tactical errors, notably the ad that inexplicably ends with his campaign manager, Mark Block, taking a drag off a cigarette, making you feel like Rick Hanson is right around the corner with a camera crew.  His 999 plan would double dip into seniors' pockets, and may affect property values, but to his credit, he is the only candidate who has a comprehensive tax plan so far, despite it's flaws.

Cain frequently makes the folksy claim that he is the only candidate who is not a politician, that he's a businessman from outside the beltway who understands the concerns of everyday Americans. Please. Cain has been knee deep in politics since he was a senior economic advisor to the Dole campaign in 1996. If he survives this bimbo eruption, makes it to the next debate, and continues with this shtick, it may just provide fodder for a knock-out sound bite from another candidate.

This may all be moot if the allegations that swirl around him are true. Cain chose to deny the charges instead of saying his personal life was none of anyone's business. and that choice could make or break his political future. If Cain is vindicated, it will hurt both the Perry and Romney camps, as they accuse each other Callender-style politicking . If the allegations are true, then Cain is a creep and a liar and American conservatives deserve better.

3 - Quote of the week: "I wonder if teen vampires read fantasy novels about the lives of heavy middle aged secretaries as a form of escape?" - Mike Polk Jr.

4- The collection of unemployed sociologists and college dropouts called Occupy Wall Street is losing steam, mostly because they're wearing out their welcome and they have no coherent message to speak of. Ask a protester what they hope to acheive, and you can make a drinking game if you take a shot every time you hear them use the word "bourgeois." So far, from Atlanta to New York, there have been thousands of arrests including destruction of property in the millions, arson, rape, assault, and there have also been several deaths from drug overdoses.

Drum circles aside, there are so many things that make this movement simultaniously comic and tragic. First of all, they aren't really occupying Wall Street. They are actually loitering in a residential neighborhood. "Wall Street", as a collection of financial institutions, actually moved to midtown Manhattan over four miles away years ago (Geography is often static, but you can't move away from stupid). Funnier still is that OWS leaders, such as self described "socialist" independent Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, voted to   protect subsidies for millionaires’ mortgages, and supported an amendment to a bill that "...will allow Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and the Federal Housing Administration to back home loans as large as $729,750." He returned to lead the protesters without so much as a peep from anyone, because most of them don't even know the difference between North Korea and South Korea 

The residents of Wall Street, who at first tried to be charitable to the protesters, now want them out after allegations of rape surfaced. In Britain, St. Paul's Cathedral had to close it's doors for the first time since 1940 when"... German bombs rained indiscriminately down on the city during the Blitz and an unexploded incendiary forced evacuation for a few days while the device was removed." This was after the church allowed them some space to protest out of good will. Now the human debris refuse to leave.

It was Stephen Colbert who had the last laugh when he, dressed as Che Guevera, lampooned the protesters in an attempt to "co-occupy" them. When liberal comedians can't take you seriously anymore, you know you're in trouble.

5 - Have a great weekend!!!



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