Saturday, November 14, 2009

Weekend Musings - Welcome to TSH

The Hype has picked up lots of action this week - kind of like Barney Frank on 2 for 1 Tuesdays at Mort's House of Flapjacks, or Eliot Spitzer on coupon day at Miss Kitty's House of Leather (read whatever you like into either of those jabs). The blog has received close to 100 hits in less that 48 hours, and the counter continues to click away, like that nifty statistics keeper that continually updates the world's population. We are at a loss to explain just what to attribute this phenomenon to, but I am extremely grateful for all of you who take the time out your day to check out my punch-drunk ramblings. For our newer readers, note that I view blogging as the most convenient format to transmit information, and treat it more as a website than a Facebook-like profile page. I try to post once or twice a week, but if good taste and proper sleeping habits are your thing, you may want to shop elsewhere. I am grateful to everyone of you for making The Straight Hype what it is today. Thank you!!

In other news, today was my lucky day! I just got an email from Mr. Amala Kumbadi, President of the First National bank of Sierra Leone, and he's chosen ME of all people to help him release a rather large unclaimed inheritance. He just needs my social insurance number and some credit information. I'll be flashin' Benjamin's to the tune of $2.5 million once I wire $5000 American for the processing fees.

I really don't get it. Thousands of North Americans are victims of this kind of Internet fraud every year, and losses are estimated in the range of $150 million. Experts claim there are three main victim groups: The greedy, the sympathetic, and the vulnerable. They should add a fourth: The astoundingly stupid. What would cause anyone to think that an official from a corrupt country - without any real infrastructure, an average life expectancy of under 40, and no functioning government - would be in possession of that kind of money? I can understand people falling victim to certain phone scams, or a good hearted person being suckered via email into sending money for Little Sarah's operation on her deviated septum. I just can't grasp how people could believe that someone claiming to be an official from a country where 12 year old's wield machetes like nerf balls and elections are decided with M-16's could hold employment in an institution that requires a nominal amount of stability to operate.

Law enforcement officials are usually very charitable in their warnings, repeating non-offensive axioms about how "if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is." How about this instead: If you send a substantial amount of money to a stranger you've never heard of simply because you've received an email asking you to, you shouldn't be allowed to use sharp objects unsupervised. If you huddle over the ATM machine to hide your PIN number, but willingly send your SIN number to some guy in Nigeria, no number of FBI or RCMP warnings are going to protect you. You might as well burn the money in your savings account in a bonfire and roast S'mores over the blaze.

Anyway, consider that my PSA for the week. By the way, I recently have come in possession of some classified information that may be of the utmost interest to you. I usually would not contact you by this method, but the director of my bank has asked me to handle....



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