Sunday, December 07, 2008

The Tyranny of the Petticoat

Greetings, dear readers, and a plenary indulgence for a buck and half to all (Sorry, I can't do that. I'm not a Bishop and I don't want to agitate the mentally unstable ghost of Martin Luther into causing any more trouble for us Catholics).

I am about to enter into the sacred bond that John Adams once referred to as "the tyranny of the petticoat," although I've never seen the lovely miss Claire wear a petticoat. Maybe she's saving it for a second trip to colonial Williamsburg to wear during a July 4th costume celebration.

Oh yeah...I should also mention she's not a tyrant nor prone to tyrannical outbursts - even while editing, which is a rare feat for editors as a species.

I'm getting married to the lovely Miss Claire on Sept. 18th at the beautiful St. Bernard's Roman Catholic Church. She said yes a few days ago and now we are on a collision course toward matrimonial madness. I should admit to this one caveat - I was married before, but it didn't quite take. There are many reasons for this, the primary being that I was always kind, respectful and nice, and she, um, wasn't. Anyway, that's the past. I've been divorced for over 7 years, and my marriage was annulled by the church, so I can re-marry with a Catholic Mass. Getting an annulment was a lot easier than I thought - First, it wasn't expensive; Second, it was quick; Lastly, Tomás de Torquemada wasn't as tough as they make him out to be. I was on the rack for 15 minutes and the guy falls asleep.

I couldn't be happier. We both share a love for American Revolutionary history, National Review, American Politics, lasagna, President John Adams, a belief that toast will one day rise again as the afternoon snack of choice, and of course, each other.

I won't agitate your gag reflex with tales of our mutual love and respect, but I will confess I am the happiest man on the planet. Even happier than that guy who died last year after a truck filled with Twinkies overturned and unloaded their contents, crushing him to death with their sweet, sweet spongy goodness.

Hope you all had a good weekend. The wedding is going to be a small private family affair so you may want to spare yourself (as well as me) the awkwardness of asking if you're invited. But I luvs you all anyway.

Enjoy some Great Big Sea as we head into the week



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