Thursday, February 26, 2009

Frost/Nixon - Hollywood Finally Gets It Right

The tag line of Ron Howard's ambitious new film, Frost/Nixon, tells us quite a lot about what was otherwise a refreshing and sympathetic look at President Nixon:

"400 Million people were waiting for the truth - Their legendary confrontation would revolutionize the art of the confessional interview, change the face of politics and capture an admission from the former president that startled people all over the world . . . possible even including Nixon himself".

Well, not exactly. After the first of four segments, viewers were bored to tears, and tuned out for the rest of the interviews. The climactic scene of the movie - when the intrepid Frost (Michael Sheen) pins Nixon (Frank Langella) in a corner, causing the disgraced former President to fall into an endless moment of reflective silence followed by a semi-confession of sorts - is utter hog wash. Nixon revealed nothing new in the interviews, and virtually all major news networks were unanimous in their opinion that Nixon had bested the ill prepared, and at times star-struck, Frost. If you're doubting this, here's some excerpts from the major newspapers the day after the supposedly historic "gotcha!" moment:

What did Watergate super-sleuth Bob Woodward think?

“a much-touted television interview which shed little new light on the scandal.”

Hmm. What about Haynes Johnson, a colleague of Woodward's at the Washington Post?

“Last night’s program was billed as a dramatic and historic encounter between Nixon and his opponent, the relentless David Frost. It was nothing of the sort. . . . By the very end of the program, Frost looks as though he’s swept up by the Nixon responses. . . . The tables have been turned. Frost had met his match.”

What about you the supposedly exotic liberal foreign intellectual papers? Surely the Times of London must have seen the interview through different eyes? Nope.

“It was clear that David Frost let Mr Nixon escape in the interrogation . . . [Frost] finds less adulatory coverage this morning than his advance men expected. . . . [W]henever the matter strayed from his clip-board of notes he was not informed enough to counter some of Mr Nixon’s most brazen revisions. The main mysteries of Watergate are still intact.”

Public sympathy for Nixon actually increased after the interviews. Americans were somewhat more forgiving when they discovered that the President's chief motivation for lying about when he actually found out about the break-in was more out of loyalty for his friends than it was to protect his office at any cost. Some may justifiably find this behaviour inexcusable regardless of the motivation, but why doesn't anyone direct the same outrage at President Kennedy, who we now know ordered his brother, Attorney General Robert Kennedy, to bug the offices of Martin Luther King Jr?

So why did Ron Howard (A Beautiful Mind/Angels and Demons), in tandem with one of the sharpest screen writers in the business, Peter Morgan (The Queen, Last King of Scotland), fudge the ending on what was otherwise the first refreshing look at Nixon in over a quarter of a century? The kindest explanation is that the building tension throughout the movie needed a dramatic climax - the so-called "money shot". A more plausible explanation is that Hollywood liberals can't refrain from the annoying tendency to be gripped by media hubris, or what James Bowman called "the saga of media triumphalism".

The good news is that movie breaks ground that no other Hollywood director - let alone media personality - dared to break before.

President Nixon was a kind, loyal, intelligent, witty and wonderfully eccentric - if somewhat insecure - man. To it's credit, Peter Morgan and the hypnotic Frank Langella capture all of these traits beautifully. This is the first movie in which Nixon is not a villainous cartoon caricature. Nixon is portrayed much like every aide and advisor who worked with him described - the kind of guy who despised the snobbery and intellectual elitism of what Jefferson called the "natural aristocracy", and who treated everyone from Henry Kissinger to the guy who washed the windows with respect. A White House janitor recalls that Nixon always remembered his name and the birthdays of his children. Nixon showed an interest in everyone. He found the tiniest details of people's lives fascinating. He inspired a unique and heart-felt loyalty from his staff and advisers, a quality that Kevin Bacon portrays with wonderful sincerity.

The movie partially redeems itself at the end when Frost pays Nixon a farewell visit at his villa:

"Those parties of yours. The ones I read about in the papers. Tell me, do you actually enjoy them?", asks Nixon.

"Yes, of course," replies a befuddled Frost.

"Really?", wonders Nixon. "You have no idea how fortunate that makes you. Liking people. And being liked. That facility you have with people. That lightness. That charm. I don’t have it. Never have. Makes you wonder why I chose a life which hinged on being liked. I’m better suited to a life of thought. Debate. Intellectual discipline. Say, maybe we got it wrong. Maybe you should have been the politician. And I the rigorous interviewer."

For all of what the movie gets all wrong, it's more than made up for with what the movie gets completely correct - and it's a must see for that reason alone.

Cordially

Joe
(Quotes from Bob Woodward, The Washington Post, and The Times of London were researched by National Review Online's Fred Schwarz)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Travis Goes Bananas

OK, I have a confession to make: I think I'm a bad person. Not "Battlefield Earth" bad, but bad enough. What has driven me to all this self-flagellation? What could cause such dark introspection and self recrimination? The answer is simple - a crazy chimpanzee.

Unless you're a character on Lost who decided to stay on the Island, or some crazy rich celebrity who has his news carefully edited for him, you must have heard about the former celebrity chimpanzee who went nuts.

How could a story about a former celebrity chimp who went crazy make me a bad person? Because I cannot read or watch anything about what was, in actuality, a horrific event without breaking into fits of uncontrollable laughter. Even now, I'm starting to giggle just writing about it.

On Monday, former Hollywood animal superstar Travis the Chimp was given a mild sedative, Xanax, which caused the usually good natured 200 pound simian to literally go "ape-shit", and savagely attack his owner's friend. So frenzied was the attack that Travis ripped off the poor gal's face and both of her hands. Travis was chased by police, and eventually shot dead. Looks like his days of riding tricycles, smoking cigarettes, and ripping people's faces off are over.

This is awful, right? Nothing funny here, correct? Nothing to see here folks, keep moving along. I can't control it. It's like comedic kryptonite for me. I'm terrified I'm going to overhear someone talking about it at work, setting in motion fits of uncontrollable and inappropriate laughter.

Now, some of you may, with some justification, ask the question; "How would you like it if a former Hollywood chimpanzee superstar took a Xanax and ripped your fiancee's hands and face off?" Well, I wouldn't be able to respond, because I'd already be falling into fits of uncontrollable laughter. But it gets worse.

I was starting to get over my childish reaction to this terrible tragedy when yesterday Fox News released the 911 tapes. For most people, this made the event even more horrific. For me? It caused all the self-control I had managed to muster to come crumbling apart like a stale Dorito, and restart the vicious cycle of monkey giggles all over again. Here's an excerpt:

Travis can be heard grunting as she cries for help: "He's killing my friend!"

The dispatcher says, "Who's killing your friend?"

Herold replies, "My chimpanzee! He ripped her apart! Shoot him, shoot him!"

Truly, there must be something wrong with me. I try to soothe my guilty conscience by reminding myself that I help people with addictions and deliver meals to seniors, but that's little comfort when I start to chuckle every time Fox posts a new update on the terrible Travis tragedy.

At last reading, the Associated Press is reporting that Travis appears to be a repeat offender. Leslie Mostel-Paul claims that in 1996 Travis bit her hand and tried to pull her into a moving vehicle. Crazy little monkey bastard. See? There were even early warning signs this chimp was bad news.

I guess this is kind of like that scene in Pulp Fiction when Vincent accidentally blows the head off the guy in the back seat when the car hits a bump. Everyone in the theatre was laughing nervously, because they felt a little guilty for laughing at all, even though the scene was meant to be funny.

Not sure how to wrap up a post that deals with chimps gone bad, except to quote Charlton Heston when he uttered that immortal line from Planet of the Apes;


Cordially

Joe

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Blogging by Numbers Time!!!

It's that time again - That special time when the alpha and the omega merge; When kittens and dogs march in unison and helium balloons gently lift giggling children up in the air; That special time when it rains gumdrops and gummy bears and you don't have to wait until December to watch season 5 of Lost on DVD; It's blogging by numbers time!!

1 - How are you liking your "Hope and Change"? The President and part time saint, Barack Obama, who one month ago was proselytizing about how we have to stop living in a climate of "fear" and start living in a climate of "hope" and bi-partisanship, spent the last two weeks telling the world that unless his stimulus bill is passed - RIGHT NOW - horrible things are going to happen, and everyone better stop disagreeing with him if they want to get anything accomplished. Well, he got something accomplished, all right - A monstrous $800 billion spending bill that has little stimulus and a lot of pork barrel spending and broken promises. Over $500 billion of the stimulus package contains nothing in the way of job creation, and the rest of the money is to be carelessly thrown at a hodge-podge of baffling projects that the President admitted "may" create "some jobs" 2 years from now. If it's going to take 2 years, what's the rush? What about the President's often heard campaign promise that he would show where every single dollar he spent was coming from? That's going to be one hell of a long press conference. The great "unifier" has Canada and the EU in a panic over his broken promises on free trade, and global markets are in a frenzied free-fall as the details of this awful package are coming to light. At least Russia and Iran still trust you, Mr. President.

2 - Memo to Arlen Spector: You are off my "jellies of the month" Christmas gift list, you treacherous little crap-weasel. May you be run out of office to retire in shame - slime bag.
3 - Imagine you're a Hollywood hot-shot executive who just put down F. Scott Fitzgerald's whimsical short story based on the humorous observation by Mark Twain that youth is wasted on the young. Now suppose, instead of handing this kind of light-hearted and fanciful subject matter to someone like, say, Tim Burton (Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands) or Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Road to Perdition), you hand it over to guys like David Fincher (Seven, Fight Club) and Eric Roth (Munich, and The Postman). What do you get? You get a really long, boring movie written and directed by two guys who are incapable of understanding the essence of the subject matter. The tragedy of Benjamin Button is that it could have been a magnificent gem, had it been given to the proper people. Instead, we get a mildly retarded Brad Pitt narrating his simplistic "Gump-isms" in a film weighed down with stilted acting, drab cinematography, and an uninspiring score. You know a supposedly light-hearted movie released on Christmas day is in trouble when it starts off with a scene of a barely coherent lady dying in a New Orleans hospital bed as hurricane Katrina begins to roll into town. Barrels of laughs, I tells ya! It was kind of like watching a two and a half hour version of Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)", narrated by a young Gomer Pyle.

4 - I think Nancy Pelosi keeps aging at bay by drinking the blood of puppies.

5 - National Review just released it's list of the top 25 conservative movies of the last quarter century. Somewhere in a padded cell, James Bowman is screaming "THEY'VE ALL GONE MAD WITH POST MODERNIST VIRULENCE!!"

6 - Gourmets say that really good bread doesn't need butter. I do not prescribe to that ludicrous notion.

7 - I can't have butter anyway because I've already lost 16 pounds on Simply For Life and I don't want to find them.

8 - I'm going to be 36 on Sunday.

9 - You guys go ahead and eat your stupid butter-laden toast. I don't want any....actually, I really do.

10 - Valentines day is coming up and I just wanted to tell my fiancée and associate editor, the lovely Miss Claire, that I love her - and I don't tend to love editors, as a rule.

Have a great weekend and check out a great band that my good buddy Ace recommended. Also take a minute to read his indispensable blog.

Cordially

Joe

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Tax Fraud And More Change You Can Believe In!

Last year in my hometown, several people living in an exclusive neighbourhood successfully lobbied the city council against building a homeless shelter near their subdivision. The shelter, the citizens bemoaned, would only bring crime, drugs, and rapid property devaluation to their community. It was no small irony when, a few months later, several members of the community were arrested on charges of having marijuana growing operations in their basements so massive they would have made Willie Nelson blush. It seems they were supplying the drugs and crime by the bucket load, all by themselves (here comes the segway!).

Now, in President Obama's Washington, the sanctimonious ivy league liberals who have been using that mysterious, ill-defined spectre known as the "the rich" as their whipping boy for the last 25 years are starting to feel a little like those folks who got caught with all that pot in their basements. It would appear that the President has traded in his old gang of criminals and terrorists from Chicago for a new gang of tax cheats and liars from the beltway.

First came Governor Bill Richardson. On December 3rd, President Obama nominated Richardson for Commerce Secretary. One month later, Richardson reluctantly withdrew his name after it was revealed that he was under investigation by a grand jury for pay-to-play kickback schemes. How could Obama's vetting team not have known that Richardson was facing the prospect of an INDICTMENT?

Next at bat was Treasury Secretary nominee Timothy Geithner - the supposed economic whiz kid who was so good at his job that he managed to hide reporting over $100,000 in unpaid taxes and used a clever loop hole involving the statute of limitations to avoid paying lots more. He was finally approved by the Senate review committee on January 26th - on the 30th anniversary celebrating the premiere of the "Dukes of Hazzard" on CBS (no point to make there, just an interesting piece of trivia. You may insert your own jokes at will).

Then came the big hitter, the guy who put the "prick" in the expression "sanctimonious little prick" - Health and Human Services nominee Senator Tom Daschle. Senator Daschle's years of loud mouth bullying quickly changed to meek pleas of shame after it was discovered that Mr. Clean cheated the IRS out of $134,000. Insiders are saying that there is strong pressure from both sides for Senator Daschle to step down. As we go to print National Review is reporting that Daschle has stepped down. If he had blood, he'd be blushing.

Finally, but not the only, and surely not the last, is a lady by the name of Nancy Killefer, who was to be the first to hold the newly created position of "Chief Performance Officer". I don't know what a "performance officer" does, but it appears one thing they do not do is pay their taxes. Killefer withdrew her nomination after it was revealed in the press that she failed to report employment taxes on household help, and that the IRS had placed a $1000 lien on her house as a result of the unpaid taxes.

Is this the "Change!" President Obama promised to bring to Washington? Is this the result of what Senator McCain warned about when he spoke of then Senator Obama's inexperience? In any case, the lovely Miss Claire, my fiancée and associate editor, put the whole mess in razor sharp perspective when she said;

"How did this politician - who supposedly made it out of Chicago clean, despite associating with what seems like every corrupt human being in the city, with no knowledge of the corruption surrounding him - manage to track down a bunch of corrupt politicians nationally to bring into his political family? These people must gravitate towards him, longing to purge themselves of this corruption, knowing that only the mighty OBAMA can cure them of their malignant disease."

I think that says it all.

Have a great week everyone. I think Willie Nelson said it best when he sang this.

Cordially

Joe

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Not Quite Holy Joe

In July, it's going to be 5 years since I had a drink, and today marks 22 days without a cigarette. The lovely miss Claire observed that we are now officially without any real vices. I pointed out that I am still an avid scratch lottery enthusiast, so don't be callin' me holy Joe yet. I will damn well scratch myself into debt to keep up the appearance of at least some semblance of impropriety (no, I actually wouldn't do that, but I can say I would).

Glenn Beck is one hell of a funny and cool guy, and he's as straight an arrow as they come. He once called Hillary Clinton Mussolini in a pant suit - how could you not love a guy like that?

Attitude - that's it. He's got attitude. Attitude is the bane of razor sharp intellectuals like James Bowman, but at least if I have attitude, it gives the impression that I am a walking den of debauchery, the kind of guy who drinks Johnny Walker like Aquafina, smokes like a cab driver and snorts cocaine off the backs of strippers.

I even have to limit my intake of diet soft drinks and coffee. The jack-booted henchman at Simply For Life have forbidden pop or coffee of any sort for the next 3 weeks, but I am allowed a cup of tea per day. YAY! Next I'll be snacking on Melba toast after my prune juice enemas.

I'm kidding. I was once such a problem drinker that weekend benders landed me in the hospital or detox on more occasions then I care to remember. I often found myself in really dangerous places or situations - like at after hours bars that swept you with a metal detector and patted you down for weapons before you could enter. A single shot of domestic rum at one of those hell holes would set you back about 8 bucks - going rate for the privilege of a couple of extra hours of drinking surrounded by guys swapping prison gang rape stories and women who looked like they could use a good delousing.

But who am I kidding? I was never a bad ass. Just some mild mannered, good natured guy with a quick wit, a modest talent for writing, and a hard core drinking problem. I joined AA, slipped and fell a few times, and once it caught, I never looked back.

Do I miss beer? Sometimes. Would I like a cigarette right now? F#*ck yes. I would light my hair on fire for a pull of sweet, sweet smoke. So I guess I'm a man of no - or nominal - vice.

Well, I'm getting married to the lovely Miss Claire this September. We've travelled to points far and wide together over the past two years, and life has never been better. I guess being a vice lite kind of guy isn't that bad after all.

Before I go I would like to thank all my readers for the overwhelming response to our first podcast. There will be more to come! Enjoy the sounds of Cloud Cult as we head into the weekend!

Cordially

Joe

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Monday, January 05, 2009

Oh Israel, My Israel

The Straight Hype has acquired, through our sources in the Nigerian underworld, a brand spanking new computer. Well, it’s actually an old computer that was acquired by fierce negotiations, but as the old NBC motto goes, if you haven’s seen it, it’s new to you. The guy who sold it to me bartered it for a Celine Dion CD and a bootlegged copy of “Manimal-The Box Set” VHS edition. This will hopefully lead to more blogs posts, but I wouldn’t count on it given my track record.

I originally planned on going in another direction with this blog post, after making the ill advised decision to tune into CBC Pacific radio while taking a relaxing bath - basically the equivalent of inviting Cynthia McKinney to sit on your toilet seat and allow her to go off unplugged while trying to luxuriate in your goat's milk bubble bath. After my anger had abated - precious seconds before my Incredible Hulk heart meter began flashing red warning lights - I decided to go in a (slightly different) direction, although I must warn the pod people at CBC radio that they would definitely not like me when I'm angry.

CBC radio is the Canadian equivalent of the U.S.'s NPR, which really should speak volumes to my more astute American readership. During the program on Thursday night - hosted by two sanctimonious middle aged crows - a Palestinian relief worker and someone from the PR department at the Israeli government were each given turns to speak. The Palestinian fellow - whose voice was so full of bile he sounded like he was strapping on a suicide belt - described how it was impossible to go out without wading through mounds of dead babies and puppies. He claimed that there was absolutely no power, water, food, medical supplies, diet Mr. Pibbs, Korans, Milk of Magnesia, or copies of Cracked anywhere to be found. Why? The Israelis, of course! If this fool was to be believed, they had bombed every hospital, school, and falafel maker in the entire Gaza strip. Then he said something that intelligence agencies have stated is a new and rapidly growing trick among Hamas sympathizers. He claimed he was especially terrified because his children had "special needs". You will hear this frequently from many people claiming to have been unjustly victimized by Israel. The reason they say this is not because their children have special needs. They say this because it elicits an immediate emotional response from Western listeners. Not once was this gentleman challenged, or asked to verify a single piece of information he had spewed out. He was simply given a free pass as the CBC harpies gushed over themselves to wish him a safe trip home.

Next up was the PR guy from the Israeli Government. Despite immediately being put on the defensive by the the radio hosts, he was calm and confident and reminded the ladies that just 2 days ago over 5 million dollars in humanitarian aid was safely delivered into Gaza under the auspices of the United Nations. He also confirmed that power and utilities were working in over 90% of the Strip and was happy to provide independent verification of these facts. CBC's lefty tag team would have none of it. They peppered the poor chap in rapid fire succession with statements rather than questions about how the international community was demanding the Israeli Government be tried for war crimes and crimes against humanity. The spokesperson tried - amidst constant interruptions - to explain Israel's right to defend itself as a sovereign nation against years of unprovoked bombings, rocket attacks, and a laundry list of atrocities commited by Hamas and their ilk.

He was quickly dismissed but unrattled. It seemed he and other people in his department are well used to these kinds of media hit and runs.

Had he been given the time, he may have been able to crunch a few numbers for the fascists at CBC radio. Since the year 2000, 1,176 people have been killed by Palestinian terrorists. This number includes 18 Israelis who were targeted while abroad, and 3 American service personnel working to help the people of Gaza. The number of wounded at the hands of militant Palestinians tops the scale at an astounding 8,300 for a total of close to 10,000 wounded and killed in just 8 short years.

The international community's response? It would seem they are asking the Israeli's to sit back and take it on the chin as their buses, schools, homes, restaurants, and hospitals are bombarded by Hamas rockets on an almost weekly basis.

Let me be clear. This is not a war against the Palestinian people. This is a war against Hamas and like minded terrorist groups who do not believe Israel has a right to exist, and when they say that, they are not talking about the international validity of Israeli statehood - they fervently believe that the Jews are an inferior race, descended from rats, who must be annihilated off the face of the earth - and so do a lot of Arabs living abroad.

In anti-Israeli demonstrations from Britain to British Columbia, "ordinary Muslims" were holding signs and placards reading "Hitler didn't do enough" and "Build bigger ovens". Don't we have hate crime laws in Canada? Some poor schmuck from Alberta wrote a letter to the editor questioning the constitutional validity of gay marriage and he was harangued by the courts for years, yet people can parade in the streets advocating the gassing of Jews and extolling the virtues of Hitler without fear of reprisal.

Last year in Somalia, 16,000 civilians were killed by Jihadists fighting Ethiopian forces. I don't remember anyone in the main stream media, let alone CBC, call for war crimes charges to be brought against the Somalians who perpetrated that Genocide.

You can play with language all you want. When protesters around the world are holding up signs calling for the gassing and burning of Jews, and you continue to delude yourself into believing that Palestinians are simply "freedom fighters" waging war against an unjust Zionist occupying force, then you, my friend, are engaging in intellectual dishonesty of the worst order.

Hamas and their supporters don't want peace, land or self-determination. They want mountains of dead Jews and bigger ovens. It's happened before because of international apathy. It can happen again.

Alright. Sorry for all the doom and gloom in that article, but the Hype strives for a higher purpose than weekly doses of fart jokes and anecdotes about gastro-intestinal infections. At least sometimes.

Hope you had a great weekend. Here's a great new song by Ben Folds featuring my favorite song siren, Regina Spektor, called "You don't know me at all".

Enjoy.

Cordially

Joe

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Happy New Year From All Of Us At The Hype

Hi, my name is Joe Leger. That's me in the picture over there - editor of The Straight Hype(TM). You may remember me from such movies as It Was Broken When I Got Here; Doctor, it Burns Where it Shouldn't Burn; and Cilantro, The Misunderstood Herb.

The New Year is upon us, and it is customary here at Hype Central to make an amusing and entertaining list of predictions. This year, however, in the spirit of "Change" that has been the credo of so many misguided North Americans as of late (ugh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little), I shall make a list of rants that may appear to have no purpose, yet when viewed collectively by future generations, will contain within them a wisdom that defined us in deep and profound ways. So here we go...

Thoughts on the past year and the year to come:

A - Being a child born well into the Age of Reason, I don't easily fall victim to claims of malevolent auras pervading the atmosphere - that was until I read of a near-fatal airborne bovine catastrophe in Turkey. Reports are that diners at a swanky restaurant in Istanbul were nearly flattened into their karniyarik after a cow crashed through the roof of the establishment. Miraculously, no one was injured, but the cow was quite dead. Whether the cow was already on the roof at the time of the incident - and just how it got there in the first place - remains a mystery. Curiously, this appears to be a occurrence that happens with some regularity.

B - Why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks.

C - President Elect Obama will discover early in his Presidency that the war in Iraq is slightly more complex than pulling out large number of troops at will and declaring; "You sunk my battleship!"

D - Despite the continual flood of email, subpoenas, and cease and desist letters, Wolfe Blitzer will eventually see the wisdom of auctioning one of his kidneys on Ebay! in my mad "kidney for profit" scheme.

E - Israel will continue to bomb the living be-jeepers out of those who claim that Jews are descended from demons and rats, and will no longer allow radicals who have no interest in peace attack and murder their citizens. The world will continue to blame the Jews for the current situation, and international support will be sympathetic towards Islamic terrorists who wish to annihilate the Israelites. Gee! When has that happened before?

F - The Straight Hype will continue to be an unwavering and unconditional ally of Israel.

G - Best Movies of 2008 -

1 - Gone Baby Gone - A thought provoking and gripping thriller by Ben Affleck (yes, Ben Affleck) whose amazing ensemble cast and gritty reality make up for the film's less then credible ending.

2 - In Bruges - A witty and smart dark comedy starring a newly sober Colin Farrell. A true gem.

3 - Valkyrie - By god, Tom Cruise did it! Over budget and late on delivery, this movie packs a punch, despite lacking badly needed character development.

4 - Persepolis - A funny, warm, yet unflinching look at the horrors of living under the rule of Islamic extremism.

5 - Reservation Road - A little known movie and a personal favourite. Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Ruffalo are riveting. A must see.

6 - John Adams - Though this is technically an HBO mini-series, it is the finest piece of work I have ever seen. It proudly boasts a stunning cast, an amazing score, and stunning cinematography. Based David McCullough's award winning book, it is probably the most accurate and entertaining look at the Revolutionary period seen through the eyes of John Adams. This was also the lovely miss Claire's favourite oeuvre of the year.

7 - Honourable mentions - Though I was less than impressed with these two offerings, my associate editor, the lovely miss Claire (and almost everyone else) nominates both the "Dark Night" and "Iron Man" as superb examples of comic book adventures brought to the screen. Heath Ledger was electrifying as the Joker, and Robert Downey Jr. was superb as Iron Man (I agree with the latter two statements, but come on! Tony Stark performing open heart surgery in a cave in Afghanistan? This would be less irritating to me if the director wouldn't have continued to blather on about the film's "realism").

H - I really try to be nice. I conscientiously read all of my emails and respond to all questions and comments in a timely and courteous manner. My readers are important to me. They are the lifeblood of this organ. Without you, the Hype would be just another dot-com cargo cult in the wasteland of cyberspace. But somewhere, in between your family outing to the monster truck pull and your appearance on Judge Judy, you email the site and pollute my inbox with the noisy static that crams up the inner workings of your brain. Admittedly, I am a bit of an intellectual tricotteuse. It's one thing to give bitch slaps to liberals, paleo-liberals, and rabid Jacobites, but some of you people somehow manage to fall outside of the ice-cold grip of stereotype. You are the people who think music hit it's apex when Lynyrd Skynyrd recorded "Sweet home Alabama", the kind of folks who declare they'll never visit "Effigy" because it seems someone's always getting hung there. You know who you are. You buy generic soda pop and own a copy of "Wrestlemania III". You think Western Civilization reached an all-new cultural plateau when Garth Brooks broke the mold by tearing down the walls between country and rock, spawning the insipid "Country Rock" genre. I guess we should thank you for demonstrating the perils of alcohol and free Internet access at public libraries.

I - Jonah Goldberg's "Liberal Fascism" was the most thought provoking, meticulously researched and important books of 2008. It turns 50 years of conventional wisdom on it's head with it's humorous but not overly scathing indictment of the Left's cherished beliefs.

J - Most important of all is that I got engaged to the lovely miss Claire this year. My life is truly blessed.

Happy New Year from the Hype.

Cordially

Joe

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas from the Hype!!

Ahhh, Christmas time! The day when the Great Pumpkin rose out of the pumpkin patch and appeared before Linus, bearing Festivus gifts for all the good progressives of the world, before he ascended 3 days later into the bosom of Gaia to rest up and prepare for next year’s Kwanzaa. I kid of course, but I would hardly be gob-smacked to hear that your children arrived home from school with similar tales from their teachers. After reading an article a month ago about a school teacher who drove an 8 year old girl to tears after calling her father a war criminal for fighting an “illegal” war in Iraq, nothing surprises me anymore. President Bush’s naïve - albeit well intentioned - “No Child Left Behind” policy should have had a provision that stipulated that no child should be left behind to endure humiliation at the hands if her pod-brained teacher, who believes the word “sacrifice” only applies to weeks when she’s feeling a bit pudgy, and has to skip the whipped cream on her Starbucks caramel mochachino.

The funny thing about progressives - as Jonah Goldberg points out in his book, Liberal Fascism - is that they are incapable of coming to terms with the sins of their past, or speaking out against the extreme elements of their movement that alienate them from the rest of thinking, breathing, carbon-based life forms. As Islamic extremists continue to bomb churches, trains, subways, cafes, and even their own Mosques, the progressive elites in this country continue to serve as useful apologists for these monsters, while heaping piles on abuse of President Bush who in their minds is “the real terrorist.” Sigh. While the conservative movement intelligently parsed all the nuances of the Iraq war – even luminaries like the venerable William F Buckley Jr opposed it – no self respecting, right-minded thinker, regardless of how they felt, was so daft as to ever blame the United States - or President Bush - for monstrosities committed in the name of Islam.

The left continues to drive a car with no rear view mirror. It was their very same saints and icons who marched outside the White House with signs denouncing President Roosevelt as a warmonger for sending aid to Churchill. I recently watched footage from the ‘40’s showing throngs of progressives in the same above mentioned rally saying “Hands Off Hitler”. Pearl Harbor finally woke them up, but only for about 5 minutes - as we witnessed after 9/11. I often think some crazed Jihadist could lop off the head of Ted Kennedy and use it as a soccer ball, and the left would still be ringing their hands over what America did to warrant such a thing. Of course, if Ted Kennedy where to lose his head, I don’t think we would notice much of a difference in the Senator.

Anyway, I’m being a curmudgeon on Christmas, but that’s a sacred and honored tradition here at the Hype (Hey! Did you Know that Microsoft spell checks Kwanzaa?).

Christmas is a sacred and wondrous time for me. I have never lost that child-like magic of watching the snow fall and bluster in the wind, the smoke curling from chimneys as you look out the window watching the array of colored lights adorn the neighborhood houses. I love decorating the tree, going to Midnight Mass, and having a big meal with friends and family. The spirit of giving and forgiveness, and everyone is able to forget - if only for a little while - the troubles and challenges of life.

Of course, Christmas isn’t happy for everyone. There are those suffering from illness, alcoholism and drug addiction, and those who have been forgotten by friends and relatives. Let us help and keep all in our hearts during this time, and always. May God bless you and your family over the holiday season and have kindness in your heart for all – even liberals…if you can manage. I realize that’s a tall order.

Cordially

Joe

Sunday, December 07, 2008

The Tyranny of the Petticoat

Greetings, dear readers, and a plenary indulgence for a buck and half to all (Sorry, I can't do that. I'm not a Bishop and I don't want to agitate the mentally unstable ghost of Martin Luther into causing any more trouble for us Catholics).

I am about to enter into the sacred bond that John Adams once referred to as "the tyranny of the petticoat," although I've never seen the lovely miss Claire wear a petticoat. Maybe she's saving it for a second trip to colonial Williamsburg to wear during a July 4th costume celebration.

Oh yeah...I should also mention she's not a tyrant nor prone to tyrannical outbursts - even while editing, which is a rare feat for editors as a species.

I'm getting married to the lovely Miss Claire on Sept. 18th at the beautiful St. Bernard's Roman Catholic Church. She said yes a few days ago and now we are on a collision course toward matrimonial madness. I should admit to this one caveat - I was married before, but it didn't quite take. There are many reasons for this, the primary being that I was always kind, respectful and nice, and she, um, wasn't. Anyway, that's the past. I've been divorced for over 7 years, and my marriage was annulled by the church, so I can re-marry with a Catholic Mass. Getting an annulment was a lot easier than I thought - First, it wasn't expensive; Second, it was quick; Lastly, Tomás de Torquemada wasn't as tough as they make him out to be. I was on the rack for 15 minutes and the guy falls asleep.

I couldn't be happier. We both share a love for American Revolutionary history, National Review, American Politics, lasagna, President John Adams, a belief that toast will one day rise again as the afternoon snack of choice, and of course, each other.

I won't agitate your gag reflex with tales of our mutual love and respect, but I will confess I am the happiest man on the planet. Even happier than that guy who died last year after a truck filled with Twinkies overturned and unloaded their contents, crushing him to death with their sweet, sweet spongy goodness.

Hope you all had a good weekend. The wedding is going to be a small private family affair so you may want to spare yourself (as well as me) the awkwardness of asking if you're invited. But I luvs you all anyway.

Enjoy some Great Big Sea as we head into the week

Cordially

Joe